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Welcome to your weekend agony-column for confused (post)grad students--Dear Labby! Today's letter is from a worried lady with two children--her PhD thesis AND her own unborn kid:
Dear Labby,
I have a boyfriend for 3 years now and I am at the last leg of my PhD. I just found out that I got pregnant, but I am afraid my PI will not renew my contract next year because of funding issues. I am so close to finishing my thesis, but I don't think she understands the joy/responsibilities of having a baby.
Mommy-in-waiting
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Amaai, zeg! would be my first reaction to your letter, MIW. That and niets aan te doen (nothing can be done), with a matching shrug (I swear, the Flemish are the experts in body language).
First off, I hope that your S.O. could chip in with some alternate funding because it's his fault in the first place (a joke, a pretty lame one, I'm afraid), but not without basis--from pregnancy to childbirth and rearing, I do hope you've arranged things with your boyfriend, including the financial aspect.
Next, how to break the news to your PI. Somehow, it's easier to tell your parents that you'll be increasing the world population in 9 months that to your PI. Good news is that if it is not explicitly stated in your contract that you are not to get pregnant during your stint as a PhD student, you won't get fired. However, do consider these points:
- Do you work in a "wet lab" setting (i.e., exposure to reagents, animals, etc.)? If so, you have to contact the occupational safety doctor affiliated to your department for clearance purposes.
- When is your delivery date? Because you'll need to work like a madwoman before giving birth. And you'll have to do some crazy calculations if your delivery date coincides with the end of the funding contract.
The first point is crucial because, let's face it--babies and lab just don't mix. You don't want to heave your guts out during the first trimester while working with chemicals, and don't get me started with potential teratogens around. Your health status will determine how much of a madwoman you'll have to work on your thesis before The Day.
Now, for the not-so-comfy news--if your PI says that the funding's over, then it's over. It only means two things--you need to work to the bone to finish your thesis before your due date, or you'll have to make The Choice.
The Choice is rather unfair for us ladies--PhD or baby? Our thesis is like our firstborn--fractious, demanding of our time and effort. But so too with the young one.
But you can also look at it this way--if the funding's over regardless of your status as a mother-to-be, then it's just the same: you need to finish your thesis, baby or no baby.
Which drives me back to my first snark--it's your boyfriend's fault. Because it's easy to shift blame. And that from now until The Day (childbirth, later thesis defense), both of you need to work as a team. It won't be easy, and in order to "have it all"--you'll need to work your darnedest!
Hugs,
Labby
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"Dear Labby" is a collaborative effort by this blogger and her fellow PhD students in different fields of research. Got a social (lab office) head-scratcher to share? Use the comment box below, or tell us here!
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